He Had Promised Her Always
by katieupatree
Summary: She had been so terrified of the nightmares that she never stopped to think about the possibilities of dreams. Magical, beautiful, perfect dreams. Dreams in which he was with her, in every way that she needed him to be. Her living, breathing love.


Hello everyone, I hope you're all having a lovely evening?

This is just a little one-shot that was bumping around in my head, despite already having three multi-chapter stories that I should be continuing with. I never have been very good at sticking to just one story - too many ideas at one time.

**Disclaimer: Everything and everyone belongs to their rightful owners, I am simply borrowing them for a little while.**

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**He Had Promised Her Always**

The sun was already casting patterns across every surface that it touched, dancing between the cracks in the curtains, filling the room without consideration for the barely morning hour. Kate tried to fight its desire to make itself known, wanting desperately to sink away from reality for a little while longer. The air too close and sticky, promises of another hot and humid summer's day clinging to her skin and making it even harder to ignore the waking world around her.

Turning into his side of the bed, a last attempt to block out life's intrusion into her reverie of sleep, she was enveloped by everything that was so beautifully Richard Castle. The soft indentation left by his body after so many years of sleeping in the same position, the musky scent that was indisputably and perfectly him, filling her senses with the tingling excitement that it always had done.  
Lulled by his familiar comfort, Kate breathed him in deeply as she was once more swept into sleep, eyes heavy as she relaxed into the cavern left by the man she loved.

Castle found his way into her dreams, as he had done for longer than she would ever admit; even when she had been too afraid to allow herself to love him, he had always been there, never for a second letting her forget that he was waiting for the day when she was finally able to admit the truth. Admit that she loved him; that she loved him as much as he did her.  
Now her dreams were filled with their life together, even the most mundane of tasks awash with a love that still left a trail of butterflies fluttering within her belly.  
That morning was no exception, as Kate lay snuggled deeply into his side of the bed; her subconscious filled to the brim with his utter wonderfulness.

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A wonderfulness that was cut brutally short by the piercing cry of her alarm clock, screaming out from the bedside table that was out of her reach without moving closer towards it. Blaring angrily into the now midmorning light, tearing her away from a world of peaceful dreams.

Stretching out a sleep stiffened arm to cut off the insistent ringing, she was reminded all too suddenly of the harsh reality in which she found herself. The sun taunting her with a brightness that was now reserved only for her dreams; too full of life to be allowed into her world.  
The sanctuary she had moments ago found within the cocoon of their bed replaced by a monumental emptiness; the softly scented sheets a false security, in truth only serving as a reminder of what should have been. The warm band of beautifully crafted gold catching her eye as her hand moved back from the now silent alarm, its weight foreign and unnatural, dragging her ever deeper into the horrific pain that awaited her in the daylight.

In the beginning she had been terrified of sleep, fighting it with every ounce of strength that she could muster, comforted by the blinding numbness of exhaustion. Kate knew what it was like to have her dreams haunted by the past, to every night live through her deepest fears, never able to escape the monsters that she had been unable to catch.

She couldn't do it, not again. She had been with him; she had clung to him as the life had drained away from his beautiful eyes. She had watched the horrendous twist of pain dissipate; his features turning too relaxed, too peaceful. She had begged him to fight, to run away from whatever ethereal world he found himself in. She had choked on the tears that were falling too fast feel, the metallic stench of blood catching in her throat, thick and hot as it pooled at her trembling hands.  
She had been there; she didn't need to go back. She didn't need her dreams to drag her back, again and again, night after night. She'd never sleep again; somehow she'd find a way, whatever it took. Anything, anything to save herself from reliving the moment which would forever be burned into her fragile, crumbling heart.

But then someone had been in her room, a doctor perhaps? She wasn't quite sure. Someone she had never met before, someone claiming that they were _there to help._ Help that came in the form of a little white pill, forced down despite her feeble attempts to protest. One pill, and then another, and another.  
Pills which had helped her to find the dreams which she now craved with every fibre of her being, without them never being able to escape from the demons that stalked her waking mind.  
She had been so terrified of the nightmares that she never stopped to think about the possibilities of dreams. Magical, beautiful, perfect dreams. Dreams in which he was with her, in every way that she needed him to be. Her living, breathing love.

Some nights he found her in dreams that sent her to memories of the life that they shared; one moment standing in the years when she had been too terrified of her feelings to do anything other than hide from them, the next transported to the blissful happiness in which they had eventually found themselves.  
Other nights Kate would find herself in a world that at first seemed familiar, one more treasured memory of the easy domesticity that they had fallen into. Only later would she realise that the beautiful baby girl she had been holding in her arms wasn't a memory at all, but a hope for a future which she had been so certain of.  
He was always there, always with her; they were together in her dreams that felt more real than the world did. Now she lived her life through these midnight adventures, forever with the man whom she had loved more than she had ever thought possible. With Castle, always.

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They had been so many things to each other; each one just as precious as all the others. He was her partner, her best friend, her husband. Everything that one person could be, and still with possibility of becoming so much more.  
He had promised her always, and she had been too blinded by love to even conceive of an alternative; too happy in their life to imagine living anything else.

But now here she was, alone in a bed that had a fortnight ago been home to the both of them; limbs tangled together as he had showered her with open mouthed kisses, welcoming the late July sun that had woken them in time for a good morning which would make a day of professionalism almost bearable. A bed that still smelt of him, still held the shape of his body, still clung desperately to the life that it wanted to be a part of. A life that had been torn away from her, leaving her shattered and alone in its wake.  
Alone to face to the heart wrenching prospect of the person she had become. _His widow._

**End.**

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Please let me know what you thought?  
I have written a couple of angsty stories for The Mentalist ..but never for Castle, so I would very much appreciate a little feedback.

Thank you for reading,  
Katie


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